Category Archives: Fun

Warming up to cold, cold Russia

I’ve gotten so comfy with loner lady life that Hubs needed to prod me to start putting things in motion to go see him in February, and after several days of completely freaking out and thinking I would miss deadlines, I can say that the toughest parts of the arrangements are done and my visa packet is in the mail. If you ever want to feel like stabbing your eyes with a pen, try applying for a Russian visa. It’s not like going to Western Europe or Mexico where you just fill out a form on the plane. You need to get a letter of invitation from a hotel or travel agency, fill out a visa application with some rather… detailed questions, get your photo taken, find a way to get all that info to the consulate with your passport, and hope you get it back in time to book your flight and board the plane. And if you have any questions about the process, good luck getting somebody to answer their phone. (Email worked in some cases, though.)

But now, I should have my passport back in a couple weeks with a fresh new visa, and now it’s on to the fun part of finding things to fill my time abroad. We’re going to have to hit the big tourist things: the Kremlin, Red Square, and St. Peter’s Basilica, not because I have a strong desire to see any of them but because it’s what you go see when you’re in Moscow. Hubs wants to see a performance at Bolshoi Theatre if we can afford tickets, but I’m happy to just peek at the interior. There’s a flea market that sells weird tchotchkes, and that might have some fun (or at least disturbing) souvenirs to take back. But again, it’s something I feel like I’m obligated to see.

There are other things that interest me more, like the bread-flavored kvass drink they sell on the street. There’s a distillery or a vodka museum, which sounds fun, and a KGB museum which may or may not be open to the public. I think there’s also a museum with old royal stuff in it like Faberge eggs and carriages. Hubs found a museum of arcade games, and he wants to go play Space Invaders.

The things I really want to see in Moscow, though, are the slices of regular life, or at least Hubs’ life:

  • the old mall with gorgeous architecture and a huge gourmet store
  • the markets where Uzbek and Azeri and Pakistani produce is sold
  • the little Vietnamese cafe that has Miyazaki posters plastering the walls. I HAVE to get a photo of me in Moscow eating pho with No-Face looking on benevolently.
  • the street where Hubs lives that he says is just like walking around downtown Chicago in winter
  • the ubiquity of pizza-sushi shops
  • the Georgian bakery that sells khachapuri, buttery eggy cheesy pizza-boats
  • the crazy women wearing stiletto heels in the middle of winter
  • the National Library and its rare books
  • the bars that sell Russian craft brews
  • the train stations that are like works of art on the inside
  • the Russian salads that sound horrifying in theory and look disgusting in photos, but might actually be tasty

We’re also going a few hours out of the city to the little Volga River village of Suzdal, which, according to the Lonely Planet guide, looks like the 20th century kinda passed by them without saying hi. There are wooden buildings, a peasant life museum, and a ton of churches, monasteries, and brothels… no… not brothels… convents, convents. How does one screw those two words up? Oh well. We have a three-night reservation there at a cute little wooden cottage, and there is a place to rent snowmobiles.

So this trip has a much shorter itinerary than any other trip I’ve done with him. Usually I’m trying to play Tetris with our days and work out transit logistics, but this time I want to go in without too many plans and let Hubs take the lead. I’ll reread the Lonely Planet guide and pull out some attractions, sure, but I’m not going to schedule it to death like I usually do. (It’s not like I know what I’m doing there anyway.) The main point is getting to see Hubs, and I’m looking forward to taking our time in Suzdal and Russia and being able to just walk around and not feel rushed.

Back to the weird salads, we learned of this dish called “herring under a fur coat,” or just fur coat: herring layered with grated boiled vegetables, onion, egg, beets, and tons of mayo. And sometimes grated apple. Looks and sounds revolting,


“Fut coat” salad. Does that sound appetizing?

After months of disgust, we (of course) promised each other we’d both try it together in Moscow. And today, hours after our pact, Hubs went out and bought it without me. Just like how he would beat all my video games before I could get through the first stages, or how he bought and watched some final season Breaking Bad episodes while I was at work and told me how great they were.

He said it was decent: not terrible, but not as good as salad Olivier, the most popular salad over there. Not as good as Crash Bandicoot, let alone Breaking Bad. I wondered if I, with my affinity for beets, would actually somehow like it.

And that’s how tonight, I ended up standing in my kitchen staring at a Tupperware full of roasted beets, and in a moment of inspiration, I mixed them with a bit of mayo…

And it was delicious. And as I chewed happily on my beets, I thought to myself, “You know what would make this even better? Hard-boiled eggs.”

And that’s when I simultaneously understood both the Russian herring-beet salad, and the fuschia-colored pickled beet eggs of my childhood among Pennsylvania Dutch relatives.

Dear grandparents: I finally understand.

Dear grandparents: I finally understand.

So I’m actually looking forward to Russian food. And the rest of those mayo-covered beets in the fridge. Maybe I’ll put some egg and boiled potato in there, and go find some herring…